


Kizuita no anata ga konna ni mune no naka ni iru koto (I’ve realized the way you’re in my heart)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Affairs, Anal Sex, Burnplay, Cheating, Eventual Happy Ending, Hotel Sex, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 14:24:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He liked to watch Chinen.He couldn’t explain quite what he liked about it, but he found himself watching him more and more often, without realizing when he had started.





	Kizuita no anata ga konna ni mune no naka ni iru koto (I’ve realized the way you’re in my heart)

 

Yuya was lying down on the bed, his face against his hand, intent watching the younger.

He liked to watch Chinen.

He couldn’t explain quite _what_ he liked about it, but he found himself watching him more and more often, without realizing when he had started.

He reached out a hand to brush the naked skin of his chest, smiling.

“What are you smiling for?” the younger asked, arching an eyebrow.

Takaki shrugged, and didn’t stop caressing him.

Yuri rolled his eyes, leaning toward the nightstand and grabbing the cigarettes, lighting up one.

The elder sighed, glaring at him.

“You shouldn’t smoke, and you know that.” he said, his voice flat. It was at least the thousandth time he told him, and it was at least the thousandth time Chinen ignored him.

“We’re closed up in a damn hotel room at the eleventh floor, our curtains are closed and it’s just me and you. I doubt someone’s going to see me smoke, Yuuyan.” he replied, sourly, but then he smiled. He let the sheets slip down his waist, uncovering his legs. “Perhaps you’re the one who should quit smoking. Or, at the very least, quit using me as an ashtray.” he added, pointing at the burns on his thighs.

Yuya blushed, tracing the scars’ contours with his finger.

“I'm sorry.” he said. “But you let me, didn’t you?”

Chinen shook his head, then he sat up and straddled him, his hands on the elder’s shoulders.

“Isn’t that why you’re here with me now?” he murmured, leaning down on him and kissing his neck. “Isn’t it because I let you do stuff like this that you’re here with me instead of home with your boyfriend?” he asked, and Takaki sighed.

“Don’t mention Hikaru. You know I don’t like that.” he scolded him, trying to push him off, but Yuri resisted.

“Oh come on, Yuuyan... you know I'm just teasing.” he said, smiling deviously.

He brought his mouth to the elder’s chest, licking it slowly, kissing it lewdly, getting no reactions from him.

“I don’t feel like it, Chii. Really.” he protested weakly, but he couldn’t hold back a moan when Yuri’s tongue reached his cock.

“Come on... did you really get this room for us to stay here chatting? If I had known that I would've stayed home, Yuuyan.” he teased him, taking him into his mouth and sucking on him, managing to get him hard within seconds.

He got back on top of him, throwing an allusive glance, and let Yuya be the one to thrust inside of him, harshly.

He breathed through a groan of pain and let him move straight away, aware that the initial discomfort was going to go away soon.

He was used to it.

It had been going on like that for over six months.

They met whenever they could, Yuya told Hikaru some excuse to justify his absence and they holed up in that world of their own, where they could do whatever they wanted.

Where Yuri was going to give Yuya whatever he asked, because despite the cocky appearance, he was aware he was unable to deny him anything.

The elder pushed fast inside of him, holding his hips, scratching them, his eyes well set on him, asking for Yuri to touch himself because he wasn’t going to do that for him.

And Yuri smiled to him, mischievous, nodding.

He started stroking his own cock, quickly, trying to keep the same pace as Yuya inside of him.

He liked when the elder looked at him like that, turned on, as if watching him was enough to push him over the edge.

Chinen moved his hand harder, focusing on his own pleasure and the show he was giving to the elder, but he couldn’t hold off much longer before he spilled on his own hand with a higher moan than before.

And it seemed to be enough for Yuya, cause he came as well after a few more thrust inside of him, a choked scream and his hands tightening even harder on Yuri’s hips.

Chinen collapsed next to him with a gratified smile, throwing him the cigarettes before the elder had to ask.

Yuya sighed, lighting one up and sitting against the headrest, hinting the younger to go lay against him.

They kept quiet for a long while, absorbed, then Takaki against started tracing the contours of Chinen’s burns on his legs.

“Do they still hurt?” he asked, sounding suddenly worried.

Yuri shook his head, distractedly.

“Not too bad. I got used to it fast.” he replied. By the corner of his eye he saw him smile.

“Or perhaps you like it, don’t you Yuri?” he asked, allusive. “Yamada’s never done something like that to you, did he?” he added then, his voice less amused now.

Chinen frowned and didn’t reply.

He understood, after all, what Yuya meant when he said he didn’t want to talk about Hikaru.

As different as their situations were, even though he hadn’t dated Ryosuke in a long time now, he didn’t like to hear his name.

Ignoring his question, and aware of the fact that Takaki knew the answer already, he let him slip down until he was laying and then he snuggled up against him.

“Can we sleep like this, Yuuyan?” he murmured, while the elder burst out laughing.

“Of course we can.” he said, his voice more tender than Yuri was used to.

He held tighter to him, inhaling the scent of his skin, basking in it.

It was something he loved.

“When do you have to leave tomorrow?” he asked, as if he didn’t actually want to know the answer.

“I didn’t tell Hikaru when I would’ve gotten back from Osaka. So, in theory, I can go back whenever I want.” the elder replied, starting to distractedly caress his hair.

Yuri bit his lip, breathing in and forcing himself to ask the next question.

“You could come over.” he said in a rush, blushing. “I mean, at my place.” he clarified. “I know you like to play the lover and go to hotels, but there’s no reason. Anyway, since you can tell Hikaru you’re still away, why shouldn’t we take advantage of it?” he said, talking too fast.

Yuya arched an eyebrow, confused by that attitude, but he didn’t investigate it.

“I got no change of clothes, Chii.” he pointed out, his lips thinner.

The younger sat up, looking straight into his eyes.

“I could buy something, tomorrow. A few clothes to stay home or something.” he suggested, practical.

“I can go too, that’s not the problem.”

Chinen lowered his eyes.

“No, I’ll go. I want to.” he murmured, taking his hand and starting to play with his fingers.

“Well, then... thanks, I suppose.”

Yuri smiled openly, suddenly excited, and he got a better hold of his wrist.

“You’re going to need a toothbrush as well, I’ll stop to a conbini on the way home. And a razor and some shaving foam.” he added, brushing Takaki’s cheek with his hand. “You’re starting to sting, Yuu.”

The latter chuckled, and brushed Yuri’s face.

“So if someone should come visit and see them you could say you’ve started shaving.” he mocked him, smiling.

The younger pushed his hand away, shaking his head.

“It started growing on the chin. A little.” he said, raising his head and pointing at it.

Seeing that the elder was about to deny it, he kept talking.

“I’ll grab a pair of slippers as well, so you can keep them there for when you’re at my place.” he went on, absorbed.

Yuya got behind him, wrapping his arms around him and putting his chin down on his shoulder.

“I can use those you keep for guests, Chii. There’s no need for you to worry.” he murmured.

“But I want to.” the other interrupted him, realizing right away he had been too harsh. “I’m sorry. But... I'd like for you to feel like home, that’s all.” he said, blushing before changing subject. “Anyway, what would you like to do tomorrow night?” he asked, turning to look at him.

“Well, we could watch a fi...” he started to say, then he paused and shook his head. “I'm sorry. I tend to forget you don’t like films.” he corrected himself, smiling.

“No, it’s fine if you want to watch a film. It’s not like I hate them, well... I don’t dislike them.” Yuri rushed to contradict him, hesitating.

“Oh, really?” Yuya’s voice was ironic, as he looked more and more puzzled. “And what kind of film do you like, exactly?”

Chinen panicked.

He raised his eyes on the TV, on and on mute, and pointed at it.

“Those.” he said.

Takaki opened his eyes wide, looking at the screen.

“War films, Chii?” he asked, doubtful, while the younger nodded vigorously.

“Right. I like them, yes. We could watch the one with Ninomiya-san, with that American director... the famous one...” he said, trying his hardest to remember the name.

Takaki laughed, rolling his head and almost banging it against the wall.

“Clint Eastwood, Chii. It’s Letters from Iwo Jima.” he informed him, shaking his head. “Let it go, really. There’s no need for you to strain yourself. We can also watch some cartoon, I’d rather do that.” he said, leaning toward him to look him in the eyes.

The younger sighed, nodding.

“Fine, a cartoon’s better. What would you like to watch?” he asked, letting go against him and resting his head on his shoulder.

The other thought about it, then his face lit up.

“You wanted to watch the fourth Shrek’s film when it was in the theatres, right? We could watch that.” he suggested.

Chinen froze, sitting up and turning to look at him.

“Yes, I wanted to. To be exact, you promised you would’ve taken me and then...” he started to say, but he stopped when he saw the wince on the elder’s face.

“Ah, I had just forgotten!” he sighed, brushing a hand over his face. “We talked about this, Yuri. Hikaru asked and I told him it was okay. I'm sorry, I forgot I had promised you. I’ve already apologised, there’s no need for you to remind me.” he said, suddenly looking annoyed.

Yuri arched an eyebrow, ironical.

“Of course you forgot. Why should you have reminded you had made a promise to me, after all, when you got to go with _Hikka_?” he scolded him, without holding back any sourness in saying the elder’s name. “When _Hikka_ wants to do something, you’re there to comply, aren't you?”

Takaki looked at him for a while, then he shook his head and moved to his side of the bed, lying on his side and turning his back on him, sighing.

“You know, Yuri, I don’t need to remind you you’re still a kid. You just need to listen to yourself talk to realize that.” he said, his voice neutral.

He hated when he acted like that. When he reminded him of his faults, when he showed that idiotic rivalry with Hikaru.

He raised an arm to turn off the light, unwilling to keep discussing this.

He tried, he really did.

He was there now with him, not with Hikaru.

It was with Yuri he talked when he had problems, it was with him he liked to spend his time, it was with him he crawled up into those damn hotel rooms, when he didn’t want to see anybody, when he wanted to spend his days with him only.

And having him throw in his eyes every single mistake hurt him, because he was really making an effort.

Yuya closed his eyes, dead set into falling asleep and postpone any argument to next morning, when he felt Yuri’s hand on his shoulder.

Snorting soundly he turned, trying to make out the younger’s features in the darkness.

Even in the complete darkness, he thought he saw tears running down his face.

He pretended to ignore them, well aware that asking him not to cry would’ve made him uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong, Yu?” he asked, trying not to sound too harsh.

“I'm sorry, Yuya.” the younger murmured, lowering his eyes and getting closer, letting Takaki hug him. “I know I exaggerate. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, that you just forgot, I...” he sighed, closing his eyes briefly. “I should just stop thinking everything you do is personal.” he said, and from his tone Yuya could tell how much it cost him to say the words.

He was confused from Chinen’s behaviour, that night.

Even in the darkness, he could see his tormented expression, his eyes still watery, that vague sadness on his face he couldn’t explain.

He reached out for him, hugging him again, pressing a soft kiss on the side of his head.

“I know, Chii. I'm sorry I got mad.” he reassured him, still not sure as to what was going through the younger’s mind.

They kept quiet for a while in the darkness, while Chinen was again lying down on top of him. Yuya was beginning to think he had fallen asleep, when he heard him speak.

“I'm happy.” he said, relaxed, making the elder smile.

“You are?” he said, bewildered. “Why?”

Yuri shrugged, turning his head.

“Because I'm with you. I'm always happy whenever I'm with you, Yuuyan.” he replied, simple as that.

The elder grimaced, softly brushing his fingers down his arm.

“You can’t really be happy with so little, Yuri. You can’t be happy that we see each other like this whenever I manage to be free and then we both go back home.” he said, bitter.

Chinen sighed, frowning.

“Still, I am. And if I'm not with you, with whom should I be?” he asked, sourly.

Takaki bit his tongue and waited before answering, as if he didn’t really want to.

“With someone you want to spend all of your time with. With someone you want to share everything. Someone you love. And... who loves you.”

Yuya looked at him by the corner of his eye.

He couldn’t make out his face in the darkness, but he felt him in his arms, he felt his breath get heavier, almost as if he was panting, and he wondered what he had said wrong.

“It could be you.” Yuri whispered then, his voice barely audible.

Yuya opened his eyes wide, letting go of him as if his skin was burning.

“What did you just say?”

“It could be you, Yuya.” Chinen repeated, his voice firmer. “You could be the one I want to be with. You could be the one with whom I’d share everything, you could...” he paused, sighing. “I love you, Yuya.”

The elder instinctively turned the light on to get a better look at him, making sure he wasn’t kidding.

He studied every detail of his expression and he found him serious enough to believe him.

But he didn’t know what to say, how to react to that confession. And he saw his face get more and more pained as he let time go by without saying a word.

“Yu, I...” he started, but the younger interrupted him.

“It doesn’t matter, Yuuyan. You didn’t think I was serious, did you? Of course I was joking, I just wanted to see your face. I... I’ve got Yamada, don’t I? He loves me and I him, we’re just on a break, but things are going to get better, I'm sure. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to scar...” the elder pulled him closer again, holding him tight, stopping his ranting.

“Yuri...” he murmured in his ear, while the younger turned the light off again, as if darkness soothed him, as if he didn’t want Yuya to see him.

“Call me again, Yuu.” he said, his voice low, clenching his eyes.

“Yuri.” Takaki repeated, holding tighter. “I'm... I'm floored, I'm sorry. You’re important to me. You’re special, you’ve always been.” he started saying, but once again he was interrupted.

“There’s no need, Yuya. Really, it’s okay.”

Chinen pulled away, resting his hands on the elder’s shoulders and pushing on him.

“I want to have sex, Yuya. Let’s not talk about this anymore, alright?” he said in a rush, trying to straddle him.

Takaki glared at him, grabbing his wrists and keeping him still.

“Yuri!” he scolded him, annoyed. “Let me finish, please, and don’t jump to conclusions. Nor on me, for that matters.” he added, ironical. “I love you, Yuri.” he added then, simply, as if it was something he had always desired and never dared to say.

The following moments of silence were excruciating. Chinen wasn’t convinced, and Yuya had noticed. He stared at him doubtfully, frowning, looking like he desperately wanted to believe him but didn’t want to get hurt in the process.

“I love you, Yuri. Things with Hikaru haven’t been good in months. It’s basically over between us, even though neither of us wants to admit it. Why do you think I’ve been with you, otherwise? Why do you think I let you so close? I love you, Yuri, and that’s it.” he said, biting down on his lower lip.

Chinen didn’t add anything else.

He threw himself at him, holding him and letting him hold him, and Yuya felt his face wet again, but again he ignored it.

“So...” the elder went on, his voice husky. “We’ve got to buy some clothes tomorrow, right? And the razor, and the toothbrush.” he said, casually.

“And the slippers. And I'm going to have to buy you your own teacup.” Yuri added, smiling.

“Then we should put a picture of the two of us together on the shelves. You don’t have any.” he sighed, happily. “Want to do something, tomorrow? Go somewhere?” he suggested then, caressing his face with the back of his hand.

Chinen thought about it for a moment, then he smiled.

“Yokohama. I want to go there.” he replied, cheerful.

Yuya nodded vigorously, lying down and bringing him along.

“Yokohama it is.” he accepted, then he smiled. “My car, my music. It’s KAT-TUN, you know that, right?”

Chinen raised his head, arching an eyebrow.

“We both know it’s going to be Arashi, Yuuyan.”

“Tyrant.” he whined, but he was still smiling.

“You’ve got horrible taste in music.”

“That’s not true! You only like Arashi cause you’re in love with Ohno-kun!”

“Jealous, Yuu?”

The elder shook his head, letting it go.

He hugged Chinen again, making him turn to face him, then he kissed him.

“I love you, Chinen Yuri.” he murmured.

The younger pressed further against him and sighed blissfully.

“I love you too, Takaki Yuya.”


End file.
